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Which Fantastical Beast Are You?

Dragon or mermaid? Take the quiz and find out!

Take the Monkey Quiz! 

Are you a macaque or a marmoset? A capuchin or a baboon? Find out with Jaxy's monkey personality quiz!

Contests and Giveaways

The September giveaways are now over. Check back later for more contests and giveaways! 

Follow Jaxy on Goodreads

Add books to your list, write reviews, and ask Jaxy questions! (Note: clicking the link will take you to the Goodreads website).

Jaxy Mono is available for book signings!

For an event to remember, Jaxy Mono is now available for personal appearances (supermarket openings, TV chat shows, reality TV participation, red carpet celebrity premieres) and book signings (pawprintings). 

LEGAL WARNING TO POTENTIAL CLIENTS:

Jaxy Mono's wranglers advise that Jaxy has not been de-toothed, and may bite. Stroking Jaxy is also highly inadvisable. Moreover, taking “selfies” with Jaxy is entirely at your own risk, which is considerable. 

Jaxy may also attack dogs, especially chihuahuas and other lapdogs, without warning or provocation. Owners may find this distressing. 

Furthermore, Jaxy displays a deplorable lack of social inhibitions, and he has the unfortunate habit of defecating when displeased. At times he may fling his excrement at people he considers a threat. Please do not leave car windows open or car doors unlocked, as Jaxy regards vehicles as public lavatories on wheels.

Additionally, although Jaxy can self-evidently write, he can not read, and his vocalizations and understanding of human speech are limited. Jaxy has previously explained his refusal to learn to speak by quoting the well-known orang-u-tan proverb, “if I learnt to talk, then I’d have to work for a living. And fuck that.” 

Thus, despite our best efforts, Jaxy may not fulfill any of his contractual engagements due to his incomprehension - real or feigned - of our instructions. As Jaxy is, de jure, a wild animal, this will be considered as an Act of God, not as a willful breach of contract.

Any appearance fees received by us, however, will be wholly non-refundable, as they will have already been spent.

Yours Sincerely,

Jaxy’s Wranglers